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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dear Christ James : I Found a Receipt but didnt get No Gift!

I have an issue I need help addressing. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 7 years now and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs and been through a lot together but I never would have suspected this. In all the years we’ve been together, all of our family members used to pressure us to get married and because we didn’t know anyone who was happily married, we never felt the need. Well last year around my birthday (August) I had mentioned that we should just go ahead and jump the broom since we’d been together for so long and thought he was open to the idea because he didn’t fight it or say anything against it. Around the first of December I found a receipt from a jewelry store on a credit card that I knew nothing about and it was obviously an expensive piece of jewelry. My assumption was that it was an engagement ring and that he would pop the question on Christmas in front of both of our families and it never happened. I waited a few days thinking he would do it on New Year’s Eve and it never happened. When I confronted him about, he went dumb on me and acted as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’ve been with him for almost 8 years so I know when he’s lying and he was obviously lying. I can no longer fin d the receipt and the credit card he used it not in his wallet, of course. My worst fear is that he’s cheating on me and gifted someone else because the day after Christmas he said hew as going to his sister’s house and didn’t come back until the next morning. I know better than to call her and ask because she will always cover for him. My friends say he’s cheating but I’m hoping that he did in fact buy an engagement ring and that he will eventually propose because we’re not getting any younger, we’ll both be 30 this year! Is this wishful thinking?

What do you think she should do folks ?


Anonymous said...

Leav his ass girl , what are you waiting for . its been to long

Rai Gee said...

This is absurd. As you have stated,you know he is lying. Although,you have been with him for this long period of time,I think you should evaluate the situation again and your relationship as a whole. Optimism is a great characteristic to have but sometimes people want to see the good in a person or situation when its barely there. Personally, I'd hate to leave but if I was content in my feeling that he was cheating I would.

"Fashionably Yours" by Olori SWANK said...

Not sure what your feelings are towards the term "woman's intuition" but as far as I (& all the women I know) are concerned, the term rings true. If you feel in your gut he may be cheating, most likely there is some infidelity involved ( may be sexual, or it could even be emotional). ...In regards to the length of your relationship, 8 years in an incredibly long time to be dating & not be FULLY committed (& I mean FULLY as in married. Anything other than marriage is a pseudo-commitment in my eyes). Unless circumstance (such as being financially unstable; still in undergrad; etc) are preventing y'all from tying the knot, there is no reason that you both should not be married yet. It sounds to me like you've been in the relationship so long that you'd rather be complacent with what you have now than take the risk of being alone and starting over. Especially with the fact you both spend your 20's together (so you 'grew up' & became adults together. After all this time you probably don't have a life separate from his). It's an effect of the disease we know as "getting too comfortable." What sucks about it all is that he may just be sticking it out with you, "until something better comes along." (sorry to be so blunt, but the truth hurts). At the end of the day, I think it's time to have a serious grown-up conversation with your man. If he's not comfortable marrying you now after 8 years, you need to be a big girl and walk away. For as long as you stay in the relationship with no real commitment, he's going to keep going on about things in the way he has been -- & you can't blame him for that. In his eyes, if it's not broke, why fix it? If you stay in the relationship with feelings of unease and he never proposes to you; you have no one to blame but yourself for staying. Like I always say: a dog cannot piss on a tree that's not there. ....& please don't let my comment be the reason you try to FORCE him into marrying you. If he says he doesn't want to marry you, don't pressure him into it. That's how u end up married & unhappy.

Anonymous said...

Child please that man would be gone

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